Don’t try to please everyone.
It’s impossible to make everyone happy. Period. Whether you are a business or an individual, when you are absorbed by living up to other people’s expectations, you are not spending your time and efforts on forming, living up to, and exceeding your own.
The reality is: there will always be someone who will judge or complain. There will always be someone who will not believe in what you are trying to build. There will always be critics and people who don’t like you or use your product. Dita von Teese said: “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” And that’s okay.
If you are a business, you have to worry about stakeholders, vendors, employees, customers, competitors. These groups of people are all important to listen to. But what you might find is that each group at some point will probably hold you back. And that is because they may not have the vision that you have or lack all the relevant information to form an educated opinion. Should you listen to them? Absolutely! But at some point you will need to make the best decision that aligns with your vision and stick to it. And if you are always looking over your shoulder to see what your competitors are doing or saying and worrying about besting them vs. focusing on your vision and your purpose, you will find yourself following vs. leading.
Henry Ford said: “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.”
Steve Jobs said: “It’s really hard to design products by focus groups. A lot of times, people don’t know what they want until you show it to them.”
James Dyson said: “If you want to do something different, you’re going to come up against a lot of naysayers.”
Jeff Bezos said: “I believe you have to be willing to be misunderstood if you’re going to innovate.”
And these leaders know a thing or two about courage of conviction and charting their own course, the course that transformed industries.
Another example? Facebook’s CEO. For years Mark Zuckerberg was fighting for his vision of what he wanted Facebook to become. People didn’t believe it was smart to offer the service beyond colleges, but he did it. And it ended up being one of the critical reasons for the scale his company achieved today. Some of his employees and investors thought rolling out the News Feed might kill the product. On the contrary, News Feed became an essential feature that transformed the way people communicate on the network and substantially increased usage. The same story repeated itself when he created an ecosystem around Facebook as a platform.
The best innovations come from the rebels, the entrepreneurs who defied the norm and challenged status quo. James Dyson, Jeff Bezos, Henry Ford, Jack Welch and many other, less known, names transformed industries and customer expectations, if not behaviors. And they didn’t do that by trying to please everyone around them. As a matter of fact, they made a lot of people uncomfortable with the pace of innovation they have inspired and their unwillingness to compromise their vision.
You move forward both personally and professionally by daring to evolve, learn, and do things others haven’t. You get noticed by standing out in the crowd. You inspire others by shaping a new path and inviting others to follow. By trying to please everyone, you electrify no one.
And what about those whispers and the judgmental looks of disapproval? Those will fade away. People have their own problems to focus on. In my experience, most of the judgment is imaginary anyway. When you worry about something, your mind tends to blow things out of proportions and transfix on little things. A lot of it ends up being in your head only.
Instead, just ignore nay-sayers and non-believers and move on with your purpose. It’s your life, so own it. Don’t let others define your passions for you. Lose the partners that don’t share your vision. Fire the customers that force you to ignore your values. As Malcolm X said: “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” You only attract the best (partners, customers, employees) by taking a stand, knowing who you are and who you are not, and having courage to live your life according to your own set of principles. Believe me, your tribe will understand. And will stand by you. And that’s what you are looking for. Not the approval of everyone, but the approval and excitement of a few – your true partners, your true advocates. And that group of people, your tribe, will help you reach new heights of success.
Originally posted in Forbes